What is Complex Childhood Trauma and How Do I Know If I’m Healing From It?
Childhood trauma, particularly complex trauma, can leave deep scars that impact every aspect of your life—from how you navigate relationships to how you view yourself. Complex trauma is a particularly common form of trauma, yet it’s often overlooked or misunderstood—even within the mental health field. Unlike a single traumatic event, complex trauma results from repeated exposure to relational wounds, neglect, or abuse over time. These experiences often occur in formative relationships, such as with caregivers or family members, making them deeply impactful on a person’s sense of self, safety, and trust.
What makes complex trauma unique is that it doesn’t always present as a single defining moment. Instead, it’s the slow accumulation of harm that reshapes how you see yourself and the world. Its effects can be far-reaching, influencing your emotional regulation, relational patterns, and even your physical health.
Some common impacts of complex trauma include:
Chronic emotional dysregulation (feeling too much or nothing at all)
Low self-worth and pervasive guilt or shame
Relational struggles, including people-pleasing or fear of abandonment
Physical symptoms, such as chronic pain or fatigue, tied to unresolved stress
Hypervigilance, or constantly feeling on edge and bracing for danger
I am particularly passionate about treating complex trauma because its obscure nature means it’s often minimized or dismissed. Many people with complex trauma have been told to "move on" or "get over it," while others may not even recognize their experiences as traumatic. Even within the mental health field, the impact of complex trauma is sometimes underestimated, leaving survivors feeling invalidated or unsupported.
As a therapist, I am dedicated to helping individuals untangle the complicated web of complex trauma and reclaim their sense of worth and safety. Through compassionate, somatic-based approaches, I aim to shine a light on the hidden wounds of complex trauma and guide clients toward profound healing.
The Power of Core Beliefs
Core beliefs are powerful because they operate beneath the surface, shaping your decisions, relationships, and even your sense of identity. They act as filters, coloring how you interpret the world and interact with others. For example, if you believe, "My needs don’t matter," you might struggle to advocate for yourself, leading to burnout or resentment. If you believe, "I’m not enough," you might overcompensate by striving for perfection or avoiding challenges altogether.
These beliefs are not just thoughts; they are deeply embedded patterns tied to your nervous system’s responses. Until they are addressed and integrated, they can "rule" your life, dictating your actions and limiting your potential. The good news is that these beliefs are not permanent. Through intentional work, you can challenge and replace them with healthier, more empowering beliefs.
Why Healing Doesn’t Always Feel Comfortable
Many people imagine healing as a steady upward journey, filled with clarity, peace, and joy. But the reality is that growth often feels uncomfortable, disorienting, and even downright hard. Setting boundaries with a loved one might leave you feeling guilty. Advocating for yourself at work might stir up old fears of rejection. Facing your past and naming your pain might feel overwhelming.
Healing is not about feeling good all the time—it’s about stepping into the unfamiliar, even when it feels unnatural. Just because you’re uncomfortable doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong; it means you’re doing something new. Growth happens when you step out of your comfort zone and into a space where change is possible.
This discomfort is a sign that your old patterns and beliefs are being challenged. For example, if you’ve always believed, "I need to be likable to be loved," then saying no to someone might feel incredibly risky. But with time and practice, you’ll start to see that your worth is not tied to others’ approval.
Recent Client Wins: Signs of Healing in Real Life
As a trauma therapist, I have the privilege of witnessing incredible transformations every day. Healing doesn’t always look dramatic or glamorous, but even the smallest shifts can signify profound growth. Here are some recent wins from my clients that highlight what healing can look like:
Feeling more motivated and less depressed after just one session
Managing stress independently using somatic skills we’ve worked on in therapy
Letting go of responsibility for things that aren’t their fault
Asking their boss for accommodations they need to thrive
Setting a boundary with a parent or partner, even when it felt scary
Telling me (their therapist) when I’ve upset them, modeling healthy confrontation
Starting to believe, even a little, that they are not “the problem”
These milestones may seem small to an outsider, but to someone healing from complex trauma, they represent courage, strength, and progress. Each win is a step toward reclaiming their voice, their worth, and their sense of safety.
FAQs About Healing from Trauma
Q: How long does it take to heal from trauma?
A: Healing from trauma is a deeply individual process. While there’s no set timeline, progress often depends on the severity of the trauma, the support system in place, and the methods of healing being used. Some people notice shifts within weeks, while others may take years to feel significant change. Remember, healing is not linear, and even small steps forward matter.
Q: Is it normal to feel worse before feeling better?
A: Yes. It’s normal to feel worse before you feel better, partially because doing new things often feels uncomfortable. However, this doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. For example, it might feel bad to say no to a friend who asks you to dogsit when you have no other reason than simply not wanting to. At the same time, this is a sign of growth if you’re a people-pleaser who says yes to everything, even when you don’t want to. While it may feel uncomfortable to say no without what you perceive as a "good enough" reason, it’s still a meaningful step forward in asserting your needs and setting boundaries.
Q: Can trauma affect my physical health?
A: Absolutely. Trauma is often stored in the body and can manifest as chronic pain, fatigue, digestive issues, or other physical symptoms. Somatic therapies, which address the mind-body connection, can be particularly effective in alleviating these symptoms.
Q: How do I know if I need therapy for my trauma?
A: You don’t need to be deeply struggling to seek therapy. It can be a great place for reflection and to make space for things that come up throughout the week. However, there are clear signs that therapy might be helpful, including:
Waking up anxious most mornings
Feeling an unexplained rush to get things done all the time
Overthinking relationships
Second-guessing yourself more often than not
Experiencing body symptoms like pain, GI issues, or headaches
Feeling disconnected or numb to your life
If your past experiences are impacting your ability to live fully in the present, therapy provides a safe space to explore and heal these wounds while also building tools for the future.
Q: What if I don’t remember my trauma clearly?
A: It’s not uncommon for trauma survivors to have gaps in memory. Healing doesn’t require a detailed recollection of events. Instead, therapy focuses on addressing the emotional and physical impacts of trauma and creating new patterns of safety and connection.
Takeaways
Healing from complex trauma is a journey that may feel messy and uncomfortable at times, but it is absolutely worth it. Here are some key points to remember:
Complex trauma stems from repeated relational wounds and can profoundly shape your sense of self and safety.
Growth often feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable, but discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
Core beliefs formed during trauma, such as "I’m not enough" or "My needs don’t matter," can be replaced with healthier beliefs over time.
Healing milestones might seem small but represent significant steps toward reclaiming your worth and voice.
Therapy provides a safe space for exploration, reflection, and growth—whether you’re deeply struggling or simply seeking support to navigate life’s challenges.
You don’t have to navigate this path alone. Support is available to help you take meaningful steps toward healing and growth.
About Me: Therapist Colorado Springs
If you’re in Colorado and looking for a therapist, I can help. I offer virtual trauma therapy sessions and immersive therapy sessions designed to address deep-rooted pain and foster meaningful growth. I specialize in working with complex trauma, relational trauma, and chronic pain, using somatic and neurobiology-based approaches to help you heal from the inside out.
Reach out today to take the first step toward a more connected and empowered version of yourself.
