Somatic Tools I Use As A Somatic Trauma Therapist When I’m Anxious or Dysregulated (That Aren’t Deep Breathing)

I know how easy it is to live in my head, but that’s also where I ruminate and obsess over silly things, and where I feel the most disconnected, confused, and unclear. Using somatic practices (aka body-based practices) to get into my body helps me feel more me, alive, grounded, and clear on my boundaries and needs.

As a somatic therapist and trauma therapist, I often remind clients that deep breathing is a wonderful grounding tool, but it isn’t the only one. In fact, if you’re stuck in fight-or-flight, your chest might already feel tight, your breath shallow, and deep breathing can feel impossible. That doesn’t mean you’re broken; it just means your nervous system needs a different entry point.

For those of us who grew up as adult children of emotionally immature parents, or who lived with emotional abuse and relational trauma, it’s common to feel cut off from our bodies. Many of my clients, especially those navigating complex trauma or healing as children of narcissistic parents, struggle to access calm through breath alone. That’s why I lean on a variety of somatic therapy practices to ground myself and come back into connection.

In this blog, I’ll share some of the body-based practices I use when I feel dysregulated. These are simple, accessible tools you can try when you feel disconnected, anxious, or stuck in your head.

Why Deep Breathing Isn’t Always Accessible

Deep breathing is usually the first thing people think of when they hear the phrase “calm down.” It’s often recommended by therapists, doctors, and self-help books alike, and for good reason. Breathing deeply into the diaphragm can help stimulate the vagus nerve, regulate the nervous system, and shift us into a more grounded state.

But here’s the thing: if you’re already in fight-or-flight, breathing deeply can feel overwhelming. When adrenaline is pumping, your chest feels tight, or your throat feels constricted, trying to “take a deep breath” can leave you feeling more panicked.

Many of my clients tell me, “I feel like I’m doing it wrong.” That’s not the truth, it’s that their nervous system is already dysregulated, and breath may not be the best way in. For people with complex trauma or a history of emotional abuse, this can feel especially true. Sometimes the body needs a different kind of sensory input to find safety again.

That’s where these other somatic practices come in. They give your nervous system a chance to ground without demanding that you slow your breath before you’re ready.

My Go-To Somatic Practices

These are the practices I personally use as both a human and a therapist when I need to reconnect to myself.

1. Legs Up the Wall

This simple yoga pose involves lying on your back with your legs extended up against a wall. It’s known for its grounding and calming effects, but for me, it’s also about sensation. I notice the tingling in my legs as circulation shifts, the weight of my back against the floor, and the way my body naturally softens after a few minutes.

I have my own relational trauma, so growing up my body often felt like a source of stress rather than comfort. This pose gently invites me back to noticing, Oh, I have a body. I exist right here in this moment.

2. Gua Sha

Gua sha is often marketed as a skincare tool, but I’ve found it to be an incredible grounding practice. The cold stone against my face immediately brings me into the present, and the pressure of scraping helps me release tension I didn’t even realize I was holding. For survivors of trauma, giving loving attention to my body feels deeply healing.

3. Dry Brushing

Dry brushing is typically used for lymphatic health, but I like it as a way of waking up my sensory system. The bristles create a strange but pleasant sensation, pulling me out of my thoughts and into my body.

When you’ve lived with complex trauma, your nervous system can easily default to numbness or dissociation. Dry brushing is one of those practices that cuts through the fog and says, Hey, I’m here. This is my body.

4. Feeling My Body’s Edges

This is a practice I return to almost daily. When my mind is racing, I bring my attention to the edges of my body:

• My feet pressing into the floor

• The fabric of my clothes against my skin

• The contact of my back with the chair

These simple points of contact remind me where I end and the world begins. For children of narcissistic parents, boundaries were often blurred or ignored. Feeling into the edges of my own body is a somatic way of reclaiming those boundaries.

5. Feeling Into “Okayness”

When life feels chaotic, it’s tempting to tell myself nothing is okay. But when I check in with my body, that’s rarely true. Maybe my shoulders feel loose, or my stomach feels calm, or my hands are steady.

Allowing myself to notice what is okay—however small—creates a pocket of safety. As a trauma therapist, I often teach clients that safety doesn’t have to be 100% present for us to access it. Even 5% okayness in the body is worth noticing, and in putting our attention there we can literally shift the nervous system into a more calm state.

6. Orienting

Orienting is a fancy word we use in somatic therapy to describe the practice of looking around your space and taking in what’s here. The purpose is to foster presence, and it works. How I do it is I’ll simply name colors, textures, or shapes in the room.

This practice is simple but powerful, especially for people healing from relational trauma. If you grew up always scanning for danger in someone’s mood or tone, orienting helps retrain your nervous system to look for neutral or safe cues instead.

7. Hugging (Someone or Myself)

Humans are wired for connection. Hugging someone I love is instantly regulating, but when no one is around, I hug myself. Wrapping my arms around my body and gently rocking reminds my nervous system that I am safe and cared for, even if I’m the one providing that care. It says “I’m here for me”.

This practice is especially meaningful for adult children of emotionally immature parents. Many of us didn’t get consistent soothing or comfort growing up. Offering it to ourselves now is a radical act of healing, and a necessary factor in healing.

8. Simply Noticing

Sometimes the simplest practice is the most powerful. I pause and notice:

• My breath, as it is

• The tension in my muscles

• The emotions moving through me

I don’t try to change anything. I just notice. For those with complex trauma, this can feel foreign at first. We’re often so used to fixing, performing, or pushing feelings down. But simply noticing is a way of saying, I can just be.

Why These Practices Work

Each of these practices works with the body in a different way:

• They redirect attention from spiraling thoughts to present-moment sensations.

• They engage the senses, which is often more accessible than controlling the breath.

• They create safety in small, embodied ways that build over time.

• They reestablish boundaries, helping you feel where you begin and end.

From a polyvagal theory perspective, they help shift the nervous system from fight-or-flight or freeze into a more regulated state. Instead of forcing calm, they create conditions where calm naturally arises.

For survivors of emotional abuse, relational trauma, or narcissistic parenting, this is especially important. Many of us learned to ignore or override our bodies as a survival skill. Somatic practices invite us to rebuild trust in our own sensations and signals.

Bringing It All Together

Deep breathing is a beautiful tool, but it isn’t always accessible. If you’ve ever felt frustrated with breathwork, you’re not alone. There are many other ways to ground, regulate, and reconnect with yourself.

These are the practices I return to when I’m anxious or dysregulated, not because they’re magic fixes, but because they gently remind me that I’m actually okay, and helps my body differentiate between my traumatic past and the safe here and now.

If you’re navigating complex trauma or the effects of being an adult child of emotionally immature parents, learning to come back into your body can feel daunting at first. But with small, consistent practices, your body can become a place of safety again.

About the Author: Somatic Trauma Therapist Denver

Martha Carter is a licensed therapist providing virtual services in Colorado. She is trauma-informed and trained in somatic, neurobiology-based modalities to help people with all types of trauma, chronic pain, and more heal from the inside out.

(Colorado residents only)

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