Why Do I Feel Tense and Anxious All the Time Even When Nothing Is Wrong?
TL;DR: If you feel tense all the time—even when nothing is obviously wrong—your nervous system may be stuck in a long-standing survival response. Martha Carter, a somatic trauma therapist providing virtual therapy in Colorado, works with clients (including many seeking therapy in Colorado Springs) who feel chronically braced, on edge, or unable to relax due to early relational and childhood trauma. This constant tension isn’t a personal flaw—it’s a body-based trauma response. In this post, Martha explains why chronic tension happens, how trauma shapes the nervous system, and how somatic therapy can help your body finally feel safe enough to soften and settle.
If you feel tense all the time—even when nothing is obviously wrong—you might quietly wonder what’s wrong with you. Your shoulders never drop. Your jaw stays clenched. Your breathing is shallow. Even during calm moments, your body feels braced, alert, or on edge.
Many people I work with in Colorado Springs say things like:
“I can’t relax, even on vacation.”
“My body feels tight all the time for no reason.”
“I’m always waiting for something bad to happen.”
Here’s the truth: if you feel chronically tense, your nervous system is doing exactly what it learned to do to keep you safe. This isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a trauma response—often rooted in early relational wounds—that lives in the body, not just the mind.
In this post, I’ll explain why you feel tense all the time, how childhood trauma and emotional wounds shape the nervous system, and how somatic therapy helps your body finally feel safe enough to relax.
Why Am I Always Tense? A Nervous System Perspective
Chronic tension is not caused by “overthinking” or being too sensitive. It’s a sign that your nervous system is stuck in survival mode.
When your body believes the world is unsafe—or that you are unsafe being yourself—it stays mobilized. Muscles tighten. Breathing becomes shallow. Your system remains alert, scanning for threat, even when there’s no immediate danger.
This state is often associated with:
Chronic fight-or-flight activation
Hypervigilance
Muscle bracing and tension
Difficulty resting or feeling present
Over time, your body forgets how to fully settle.
The Trauma Beneath Chronic Tension
Many people who feel tense all the time don’t identify as having “trauma.” There may not have been a single big event. Instead, the trauma lives in patterns—especially relational ones.
Your nervous system learned early on that it wasn’t safe to fully relax, because safety was unpredictable.
Core Wounds Stored in the Body
Chronic tension is often rooted in unconscious beliefs your body learned long before you had language:
It’s not okay to be me.
I have to stay alert to stay safe.
If I relax, something bad will happen.
My needs are too much.
I’m unlovable or wrong.
These beliefs don’t live in your thoughts. They live in your posture, breath, muscle tone, and nervous system responses.
Childhood Environments That Teach the Body to Stay Tense
You don’t need abusive parents to develop a chronically activated nervous system. Many people grow up in homes that look fine from the outside but feel unsafe internally.
Common patterns include caregivers who were:
Emotionally unpredictable – loving one moment, withdrawn or angry the next
Overreactive – big emotional responses that kept you on edge
Inconsistent – sometimes available, sometimes not
Highly critical or shaming – making mistakes feel dangerous
Emotionally immature – relying on you to manage their feelings
When caregivers are unpredictable, your nervous system adapts by staying alert. Relaxation becomes risky.
Your body learns: Stay tense. Stay ready. Stay small. Don’t need too much.
Why You Feel Tense Even When Life Is Going Well
This is one of the most confusing parts for people: nothing is wrong now, yet the tension persists.
That’s because your nervous system isn’t responding to the present—it’s responding to the past.
Trauma is not about what happened; it’s about what your nervous system learned.
If your body learned that safety was conditional, fleeting, or dependent on your behavior, it will stay activated even in calm environments. Your body is trying to prevent future pain by never fully letting its guard down.
The Cost of Living in a Tense Body
Chronic nervous system activation doesn’t just feel uncomfortable—it impacts your health, relationships, and sense of self.
Over time, it can lead to:
Chronic pain and muscle tightness
Headaches, jaw pain, and TMJ
Digestive issues
Fatigue and burnout
Anxiety and irritability
Difficulty with intimacy and connection
Your body is exhausted from staying on duty all the time.
If you’re in Colorado and struggle with chnroic pain, I offer somatic therapy for chronic pain relief virtually in Colorado Springs, and across Colorado. I offer a unique solution to stubborn pain that you can read more about here:
Why Talk Therapy Alone Often Isn’t Enough
Many people try years of talk therapy and still feel tense. That’s because insight doesn’t automatically create safety in the nervous system.
You can understand why you feel tense and still be unable to relax.
That’s because trauma is stored somatically—in the body—not just cognitively.
Healing requires working directly with the nervous system, not just analyzing your past.
How Somatic Therapy Heals Chronic Tension
Somatic therapy focuses on the nervous system and the body’s learned survival responses.
Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with you?” somatic therapy asks:
“What did your nervous system have to do to survive?”
What We Actually Do in Somatic Therapy
In my work as a trauma-informed somatic therapist in Colorado Springs, sessions are structured to create real nervous system change—not just temporary relief.
Sessions often follow a gentle, repeated cycle:
Brief talking to identify what’s activating
Tracking sensations in the body (without overwhelming it)
Guided nervous system deactivation
Allowing the body to settle in real time
Returning to the topic from a regulated state
This teaches your body—through experience—that it is safe to relax now.
How Somatic Therapy Changes the Nervous System
Somatic therapy works by helping your nervous system:
Complete interrupted survival responses
Release chronic muscle bracing
Build tolerance for rest and safety
Access ventral vagal states of connection and calm
Create new embodied experiences of safety
Instead of forcing relaxation, we allow it to emerge naturally as the nervous system relearns safety.
Over time, your body stops needing to stay tense to protect you.
What Healing Actually Feels Like
Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never feel tense again. It means your body becomes more flexible.
Clients often notice:
Their shoulders dropping without effort
Deeper, fuller breaths
Less reactivity to stress
Feeling present instead of braced
A growing sense that it’s okay to exist as they are
This isn’t something you think your way into. It’s something your body learns.
You’re Not Broken—Your Body Learned to Survive
If you feel tense all the time, your body is not betraying you. It’s protecting you the only way it knows how.
With the right kind of support, your nervous system can learn that safety is no longer something you have to earn or monitor.
You are allowed to rest.
Somatic Trauma Therapy in Colorado Springs
I provide virtual somatic trauma therapy for adults in Colorado who feel chronically tense, anxious, or unsafe in their bodies.
My work is grounded in polyvagal theory and focuses on helping your nervous system truly settle—not just cope.
If you’re in Colorado Springs and looking for trauma therapy that gets to the root of chronic tension, somatic therapy may be a powerful next step.
About the Author
Martha Carter is a licensed therapist providing virtual services in Colorado Springs as throughout Colorado. She is trauma-informed and trained in somatic, neurobiology-based modalities to help people with all types of trauma, chronic pain, and eating disorders heal from the inside out.
(Colorado residents only)
